John
was thirteen years old when he had his first drink of alcohol. He was
hanging out one night in the park with some older friends. Someone pulled a
cooler of beer from their car trunk. John was handed a can of beer.
Surprised, John was confused as to what to do. He had heard for years from parents
and teachers that alcohol was bad for him. On the other hand, everyone else
was drinking. John liked
these guys and wanted to be accepted, so he took the beer. It tasted awful,
but he enjoyed the feeling or lightness that the beer produced in him. He began
to question his early teachings and said to himself, “One beer isn’t
going to hurt me.” John failed to realize that he had just taken his first
step on the road to alcoholism.
During the following year, John had a number of opportunities to continue his
experimental use of alcohol. Because he continued to socialize with alcohol
using and non-using friends, John didn’t use alcohol each time that it
was available. Besides beer, John tried wines and some hard liquors. When he
did drink, a small amount of
alcohol was all that was required to achieve a “high” feeling due
to his low tolerance level.
Eventually, John settled into a pattern of regularly using alcohol two or three
times a month. Drinking was always done at a safe place and usually on the weekends.
John still had non-using friends, but his closest friends used alcohol. A good
amount of time during each week was spent with these friends planning for the
next party.
Beer became John’s drink of choice. His tolerance level for alcohol increased
along with his regular use. John took pride in his increased tolerance because
it made him feel more like an adult. Unfortunately, John began to lose the ability
to predict how much he would drink once he started. This would sometimes lead
to embarrassing behavior.
Family tension began to develop as a result of John’s alcohol use. Despite
the good relationship they had always had, John knew that his parents would
disapprove of his alcohol use. He felt guilty about the lies that he told his
parents in order to cover up his partying of the weekends. Because he was living
a lie, John began to disconnect the lines of communication with his parents.
John’s self-isolation worried his parents and they began to ask questions.
His parents received no answers; instead they witnessed John’s increased
isolation from family life. Sure that his parents were out to catch him using
alcohol; John viewed his family as the enemy.
With all the pressure in his life, John began to feel that he deserved a drink
as a way to relax. Regular drinking on the weekends changed to a preoccupation
with alcohol and frequent drinking during the week. The family hassling didn’t
seem to bother him when he was high.
John’s girlfriend expressed concern about his drinking after he had twice
changed their plans in order to get high with his friends.This led to a big
fight. John tried to lie about the real amount of his alcohol use, but she knew
the truth and walked out of the relationship.
School officials were beginning to be concerned about John. They witnessed a
number of warning signs that pointed to problems with alcohol: increased absence
and tardiness, lower academic performance, loss of interest in activities, change
in dress, and a sudden change in friends. When school officials contacted John’s
parents, they learned that the home situation was also deteriorating. The parents
reported that John was secretive about friends and his whereabouts and received
a number of mysterious and unexplained telephone calls. After his parents confronted
John about his behavior, he became very defensive and constantly denied any
wrongdoing. The parents felt lost as to what to do.
Police were also entering John’s life. While riding in a car with one
of his few remaining friends, the police pulled the car over and charged the
driver with Driving Under the Influence. The police found beer in the truck
of the car, so John received a ticket for Minor in Possession of Alcohol.
To John, the whole world seemed to be against him. As a way of coping, he hid
alcohol for future use and often would drink alone. Drinking helped John to
dull the feelings of guilt and anxiety he had about past behaviors. He even
considered suicide as a way of ending his pain.
John found himself well down the road leading to alcoholism.The Addiction Cycle
started with the beginning of alcohol use. John’s drinking violated his
values, which caused him to become filled with guilt and shame. John completed
the cycle by using alcohol as a defense against his feelings.The addiction cycle
can be broken, but John needs to seek help. Resources available to help people
suffering from problems with alcohol include counselors, doctors and the clergy.