My Life with Drugs & Alcohol
by Brittany Dawn Alexander

 

I will start off by saying in my opinion there is nothing positive that can come from drinking alcohol or using drugs, especially when they are being abused. I have grown up around drug and alcohol abuse my whole life, and I have seen what it can do to people. My mom and dad are both addicts. My mom is in recovery, and unfortunately my dad is not. From being at all kinds of AA, NA, and CA meetings, and talking with my mom, I know that addiction is a genetic disease, and it’s not something you can control. Most of the population cannot understand why people don’t just quit. But once it gets to a certain point, it’s no longer a choice. Addicts use drugs and alcohol as a way to run away from their problems and essentially become “fixed” for a short period of time. Just like some people use gambling or sex. I know this because I’ve been there. So this is where my story comes in.

When I was young I was really close with my family, I loved sports and school and was like most other children. I knew I would never do drugs because I had seen what it had done to my family. Around age 11, I tried my first cigarette. It wasn’t such a big deal you know; it was just a cigarette. Then on my 12th birthday I decided to have a few beers with the older kids that I met camping. They offered it to me, what could I say; it was the cool thing to do. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what happened that night. Then a while went by and I tried some marijuana. It wasn’t that bad though, it wasn’t like I was doing heroin or anything. And that’s how it all started.

My friends and I would hang out with the older guys and drink on the weekends and just have a good time. By my sophomore year I was smoking weed everyday, all day. But I didn’t think it was really affecting me, because it was just the “normal” thing to do. Looking back I can definitely see the harmful affects it had. My freshman year I had a 3.8 GPA and my sophomore year I had a 2.9. At the time I really wasn’t too concerned. I would smoke at school, take pills and drink before and after school. When I was in the moment it really didn’t seem to be a problem. I wasn’t getting into serious trouble, and other kids did it, so why not. But it only got worse. My best friend and I started to drink everyday. We wouldn’t get completely drunk on weekdays, but we still had to drink. Every weekend we would go “party.” About 90% of the time I don’t remember what I did or where I was at. And I will never forget the first time I tried cocaine. The scary thing is I fell in love with it. We would binge and then stop and binge and stop. It was just an ugly circle that would never end. I had isolated myself from my family; I was never home and didn’t want to be. Besides the obvious things that were going wrong in my life, there was a lot more inside. I didn’t have feelings anymore and I didn’t respect myself at all. I let myself go and didn’t know how to get “me” back.

In the summer of 2006, when I was 15 years old, I got arrested for the first time. I was driving my friends’ car without a license or insurance, and I blew a .17. I got charged with a DUI, MIP, MIC, driving without a license, and driving without insurance. When my 7 year old sister was bawling and watching me be handcuffed to a cop car at four in the morning, all I wanted to do was crawl in a comer and hide. That was what really opened my eyes. I knew I was ruining my life and I needed to do something, but I was so angry and guilty and most of all, scared. I agreed to go to treatment, and less then a week later I was in Yakima, WA at a place called Sundown M. Ranch. It was what I called home for a month, and it was the greatest experience of my life. It completely changed me into a more mature and respectable person. I continued to go to outpatient treatment and meetings when I returned home. I know God was watching over me through the whole experience, and still is every day. My life still has its problems and hard times but nothing compared to when I was using. I have been clean and sober since July 8th, 2006, and plan to be day by day.

So when I saw this scholarship essay I decided I would share a little about my story and my personal experiences with drug and alcohol abuse. Not only have I been through the life of addiction but I have seen what the consequences are because it’s happened to many people in my family. There is absolutely nothing positive that can come out of drinking or using drugs and I wish more people would understand that you can enjoy life much more being sober. Most people just use drugs as a way to escape from something they don’t know how to handle, and it’s sad that more people cannot get the help they call for. When I go to college I want to study psychology and become a counselor, and help others live a happy life!