Learning from Experience
by Devonna Valvoda
My name is Devonna Valvoda. I am a senior at Helena High School in Helena, Montana. Upon hearing about the Alert Magazine Scholarship, I immediately began thinking of all the different ways to tell of my experience with drugs and alcohol and the impact they have made on me. After pondering for a while, I realized that I didn’t have just a single experience to talk about, but rather, a story of my life filled with challenges that have shaped me into the person I am today. Those experiences began with the drug use in my family, which was a common part of life throughout my childhood. Despite growing up around drugs, I have never used them. However, I witnessed first hand the harmful effects drugs have on the users, their family members, and their choices.
I was born in Anchorage, Alaska into a family where drug use was already prevalent. The first drug related experience I can remember was when I was three years old. My dad was arrested and put in jail for a drug and alcohol related shooting which was charged as an attempted homicide. Our only interaction after this was through letters, phone calls, and occasional visits on birthdays or holidays. Shortly after my dad’s arrest, the state removed my brother Jacob, my sister Jillian, and I from living with our mom because she was also using drugs and was unfit to raise us. My sister went to live with her dad and Jacob and I went to live with our grandma. Growing up with our grandma wasn’t much different than living with our mom. She also used drugs and relied on alcohol as a stress reliever. Throughout the next five years, Jacob and I watched as our mother and grandma slipped further into the addictions of drugs and alcohol. Our mom was constantly moving in and out of shelters, was unable to keep a job, and rarely made it to her visits with us. Being so young, neither my brother nor I could understand the problems she had, but we were always hopeful that she would get better, and that somehow we could help. Living with our grandma, we could see more clearly that something was wrong. She was usually asleep during the day, leaving Jacob and I to take care of ourselves. When she was awake, she was always angry, which only confused us more and left us wondering what we had done. Neither one of us could comprehend the vicious cycle that our mom and grandma were trapped in, or that there was nothing we could do to stop it. We could only hope by some miracle they would get better and we could escape the chaos that surrounded us. Life’s miracles don’t always turn out the way we had envisioned though, as we were soon to find out.
On August 8, 1997, Jacob and I were removed from our grandma’s care after evidence of her drug use surfaced. Soon after, we were placed in a foster home. It was here where our past experiences and memories came to haunt us. After so many years of hiding our true feelings, they finally came out. The pain surrounding our past and everything we’d been through came out in anger and misbehaving instead of talking. For me especially, it was difficult to trust anyone, because I was used to taking care of myself, and I still held the hope that my mom and grandma would get better and that our family would be reunited. My foster parents realized that it was going to take a lot of time and work for me to heal, so in 2000, I was sent to live in Helena Montana at Intermountain Children’s Home. Over the next two years, I went through therapy, where I was finally able to face the past and begin trusting others. I realized that I could not change the past, but instead learn from it and help determine my future. The possibilities for a better future came in 2002 when I met the Valvodas. They took me in and adopted me; a decision that would better my life in countless ways.
Since becoming a member of the Valvoda family, I have been provided with a wonderful future. I’ve received a great education, and have been given the chance to participate in sports, clubs, church, and much more. I have made the decision to stay drug and alcohol free, and am a member of MTAD (Mentoring Teens Against Drugs), which is a club that aims to educate teens on the dangers of drugs and alcohol as well as provide alternative activities within the community. I’ve learned that through these experiences, I can not only help to improve myself and stop the cycle of drug and alcohol use in my own family, but also encourage others to do the same.
Despite the challenges I’ve encountered in my life, I have been given the chance for a bright future; one that began with a rocky past. I’ve learned from the examples of my mom and grandma what drugs do to a person. Both of them made a choice to use drugs; a choice that would forever change their lives. Drugs cost them their jobs, home, friends, and their family. I have no idea where or how my mom and grandma are, but I still hope that they are able to overcome their addictions and heal from their past. I hope that they can someday find the happiness that I’ve found without using drugs or alcohol. True happiness does not come from a bottle or a bag, as some may believe, but from those experiences in life with friends and family, and those moments of accomplishment that a drug could never produce. Those are the experiences in life worth living for. These are the experiences in life I choose to live for.